The Joy Stealers

Hi, my name is Kali, and I’m a joy stealer.

“Hi Kali”.

I’m not alone, either. I know many a joy stealer. In fact, I just met with a group of joy stealers the other night and we all came to the conclusion that we need to stop this thievery.

What I’m referring to is help. How many of us get great joy from helping? How many of us have a hard time asking for help? How many of us won’t ask for help until we are absolutely, desperately in need of it? There’s nothing I love more than helping others (okay, maybe tacos). I get immense joy from being able to help someone I love, or even someone I don’t love. But do I ask for help? *insert crying laughing emoji* I do not. Like many others I try to do everything by myself, and when I do ask for help I am riddled with guilt and feel I owe said helper something in exchange; preferably something thoughtful. Am I the only one who feels this way? I’m starting to realize that this is not working for me. This is not working for us, us joy stealers. How dare we deprive others of joy by not asking for/accepting help!

It’s no secret that as a society we are lonelier than ever, more burnt out than ever, more depressed than ever. We’re more connected yet more separated than ever. Now more than ever we need real community, real relationships, trust. We thrive on statements like “I don’t know how s/he does it!”. But is barely keeping our heads above water worth being known for that? Sometimes it’s only at the end of our rope do we decide to finally, begrudgingly, accept help.

We live in a time of DIY, but there was a time when this was not expected or encouraged. The phrase “it takes a village” does not line up with todays expectations, but I know it still exists and I’ve seen it first hand and it is beautiful. Selfless giving, humble receiving. Sometimes we will be in a season of giving, and sometimes we will be in a season of receiving. Let’s meet ourselves in whichever season we’re in. Let’s help. Let’s ask for help. I guarantee that we all have people in our lives just waiting for us to ask. Let’s come together and learn to rely on each other again. Not only will this make our lives easier and happier, we will bring joy to the lives of our helpers.

A huge thank you to my fellow joy stealers, to my helpers, you know who you are. I cannot do life without you!